helpless.

Not again.

Their screams echo throughout the empty house. I can’t make out what they’re saying – she screams something at the top of her lungs. She sounds hurt..angry. He responds just as violently. Their thunderous roars fill my ears. My heart racing, my hands go cold. I stare at the door to my bedroom, it usually doesn’t get this bad. They’ve been going at it for hours. I look over to my little brother, staring at the door with his tiny hands on his knees. He’s quietly sitting still.

A loud crash drowns their screams. We jump. I have to go out there. I have to stop them. I stand up slowly and make my way to the door. My heart pounding in my throat, my chest as tight as ever.

Knives decorate the walls. The floor carpeted with broken plates and pans. Their screams get louder with every step. I turn the corner to see them glaring at each other. With wild eyes and flared nostrils, their ready to attack. He lunges at her with his fist held high, she drops with a shrill. His roars vibrate the floor. She quickly jumps to her feet and returns the attack, scratching anything in her path.

Do they even see me? “STOP” I scream.

My roar is nothing compared to theirs. I’m silenced. She grabs another weapon and hurls it at his head, he moves quickly, it crashes through the wall..yet another decoration. “STOP” I scream. He grabs her shoulders and thrusts her to the bed. She quickly reaches over and grabs a bottle of pills, she glares at him threateningly.

My heart sinks, no.

“STOP” I scream louder, tears rolling down my face.

She opens the bottle, never taking her eyes off him. “STOP” I plead. She tilts her head back and ingests them all. “NO!” She’s dead.  He rushes toward her and sticks a finger in her mouth, she fights him. He shovels out the pills as he screams, she roars back. I stay silent, frozen. I can’t lose you, mommy. 

Their thunderous roars fill the house again. I look at them through my tears, two blurry figures screaming at each other. No one listens. The roars are deafening, this fear is deafening.

I run for the phone, I need help. “Hello?” she answers, “I need help..” I squeak into the phone.

They scream even louder, shaking me to my core, then lunge at each other once again. “NO! STOP!” I scream as I drop the phone.

“Hello? HELLO??”

I can’t do anything. I’m helpless.

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