Cold. 

Everything sounds muffled underwater. Are you speaking to me? I hear your voice but I’m not sure. 

I slowly lift my head above the water and look around. “Do you have a towel?” my mother asks. Oh, you were speaking to me. I shake my head yes.

Why is this pool water always so cold? It’s Summer! Shouldn’t the hot sun warm the water? “How’s the water? I’m coming in.” my mother says as she begins testing the water with her toes. Well I guess cold pool water is a million times better than a cold shower, right? “The water’s fine, ” I respond “do you have the shampoo?”

My mother squeezes shampoo onto her palm and floats the bottle over to me. Ooh coconut scent, my favorite! I stare at the trees in the backyard as I start massaging the shampoo into my hair.

I wonder when those hairy looking apples are going to be in season again. I wonder what they’re real names are.. Maybe..  happles? Oh, that’s the tree I buried my dog by, I wonder where she is.. I wonder if she felt me petting her head as she took her last breaths. Her big brown eyes looked right into mine, she had to have known I was with her.. I wonder if it hurt less since she wasn’t alone.. I wonder if I’ll be alone when I die..

I vigorously shook the thought out of my head. No, if I start thinking this now I’ll never fall asleep! Plus, I’m only 15, I’ve got a long road ahead of me.. Right?? Unless I die early..

I held my breath and drowned the thoughts out of my mind. Brain.. Please stay quiet in there… I scrubbed away the shampoo.

“What do you and your brother want for dinner?” my mother asked as she dried herself. She always showers so fast! “Spaghetti!” I exclaimed. We better have a ton of cheese for my spaghetti.

My clothes clung to my skin as I made my way out of the pool. It’s so hard to shower with clothes on.. How the heck am I supposed to scrub my armpits?! Whatever. Everything’s whatever anyway. Who cares. We made our way inside.

My step-father placed the small butane stove on the table. I hope this thing is able to make a huge pot of spaghetti. I’m starving.

Come get some food!” 

My brother and I raced to the kitchen. Where’s the cheese?! I gave my brother a handful and put the rest in mine. We walked back side by side, stuffing our faces. Mmmm.. I hope there’s a lot leftover.

The food felt warm in my belly. Nothing’s better than warm food after a cold shower! Or bath? Yeah, it’s basically a bath, right? Gross. Either way.. I can’t wait til we have hot water again! I don’t like how my skin feels after a cold shower.. Or bath.. 

But it’s whatever. I guess it’s whatever. 

Whatever. It’s not like I care anyway. Who cares? Everything’s just..  whatever…  


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